Season of the Blooming Sage Part 2: Awakening
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When a pregnant woman feels the first flutter of life within her womb, it's called a "quickening." For many a mother-to-be, this is a magical moment when dreams become reality. The awakening of a woman to midlife can also be thought of as a quickening. In this season, however, a woman is both mother, swollen with new life, and child, the seed of self-authenticity. Unlike pregnancy, many women find the early flutterings of midlife unsettling rather than magical. To be sure, symptoms like hair thinning, mood swings, and hot flashes are a nuisance. They are also evidence of nature calling a woman into new relationship with herself.
Heeding the Messenger
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These first stirrings of awakening can be incredibly subtle—whispers easily drowned out by life's louder events. Our forties often come with significant disruptions like illness, death, empty nest, or divorce. These focus our attention away from ourselves and can cloud the early symptoms of perimenopause. In other instances, the whispers present more as feelings of emptiness and longing, as we discussed in Part 1 of Season of the Blooming Sage.
Maria's awakening, for instance, began when her daughter left for college, leaving her with a profound sense of loss. Over time, she recognized this experience as an opportunity for rediscovery. Remembering her love for painting, a passion she had set aside during motherhood, Maria enrolled in a local class, where she reconnected with herself through this creative outlet.
My own awakening wasn't straightforward. Lyme disease in my early forties masked perimenopausal symptoms, creating a confusing overlap. I felt as if my body and brain had been hijacked against my will. During three years of Lyme treatment, I came to see this disease as a messenger, forcing me to listen deeply to my body's wisdom and surrender to a new path. How ironic that my initiation into the season of the blooming sage happened through a tick bite. If it had been up to me, a fortune cookie with "Time for transformation!" would have sufficed.
Your divine messenger might arrive in different packaging—perhaps as persistent intuitions, revealing dreams, or a welcome life transition. The form matters far less than your willingness to receive what's offered: freedom.
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The Beautiful Shedding
Freedom requires sacrifice, but many of the sacrifices we undergo in midlife, while necessary, are bittersweet. Personal losses accrue - children leave home, friends fade away, careers stall, and parents may die. So, too, our bodies undergo losses beyond our control. No longer young enough to resist the forces of gravity, our cheeks (both types) develop sags and bags seemingly overnight. Weight loss becomes difficult while bone density recedes without our permission. These changes can be hard to accept without a hearty sense of humor.
My friend Erica was worried about hair loss and recently got a bold new haircut. At a family gathering, she proudly showed off her short hair with colorful hoop earrings, hoping for compliments. Instead, her young niece exclaimed, "Wow! You look like a cool grandma!" Erica was dismayed at first, but then she laughed. Better a cool grandma, she realized, than a drab and dreary aunt.
We also sacrifice self-control during this season as emotions take on a life of their own. Tears mingle with laughter, sadness, and longing. Underneath it all, anxiety or depression may flow as we begin to feel less in control of ourselves. The protective shell of familiar roles and competencies begins to crack and fall away. Like a turtle shedding its too-small shell, we can't help but feel vulnerable and exposed. (Unlike turtles, we can at least console ourselves with chocolate and stretchy pants.)
And so, caught amid sacrifice and shedding, while nature rudely interrupts our plans, those of us in midlife lift our voices in a common lament: "It's not fair!" Indeed, it may not be fair, but let's remember an important fact: the story does not end here.
When we look to the horizon beyond midlife, the promise is that our sacrifices will bear gifts. Among these are freedom from fertility demands, liberation from hormonal tides that have shaped our lives for decades, and a return to sanity and meaningful productivity. Most precious, we will receive the gift of meeting our most authentic selves on our own terms.
First Steps Toward Freedom
Our culture habitually refers to a woman's midlife journey as a "crisis." Crisis denotes emergency and adversity, an unnatural and undesirable experience. To be sure, no woman enjoys hot flashes or mood swings, but these symptoms hardly constitute a crisis (except, perhaps, in the minds of men who prefer docile and predictable women). The midlife-as-crisis narrative taunts women with questions like: "What is wrong with me?" "Will I ever return to normal?" "When will this nightmare end?" Notice the shame, dread, and self-judgment inherent in this negative thinking and the ways it reinforces the notion that women in midlife must be fixed, managed, or fired. Our first step toward freedom must be resisting this cultural narrative.
Join me right now, friend, in kicking this midlife crisis crap to the curb. In its place, I offer you a story of midlife confidence, compassion, and curiosity. Take a moment to read the questions below aloud. As you read them, slowly, notice how they make you feel:
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What wisdom is my body sharing with me now?
What unexpected treasures might be awaiting me in this season?
How might I honor nature's invitation to transformation, even when it feels uncomfortable?
Invitation to Deeper Connection
Rather than let these questions float by, why not chew on them awhile? Here are some ways to engage:
1. Journal your answers - Set aside 15 minutes with a blank page and let your thoughts flow without judgment. What emerges?
2. Share with a trusted friend - Invite a midlife companion to explore these questions together over tea. The simple act of voicing your experience can bring clarity.
3. Create a visual response - Sometimes words fail where colors and shapes succeed. Paint or sculpt what your awakening feels like without worrying about artistic skill.
4. Seek wisdom beyond yourself - Spend time in meditation or prayer, inviting your higher power into a conversation about this journey. The silence often speaks volumes.
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Crossing the Threshold
As you ponder these beautiful questions, imagine your true self awakening and the door opening to midlife. Give yourself permission to be exactly where you are in the process of crossing over. Remember that, in this threshold moment, you're not losing yourself but finding yourself anew—shedding what no longer serves while embracing the wisdom that has been quietly growing within you all along. This isn't a crisis but a coronation, where you claim the sovereignty of your authentic voice, just as generations before you have done. Your choice ripples outward, touching the lives of your sisters, daughters and granddaughters—teaching them that this passage isn't something to fear but something to celebrate. You are entering the abundant season of the blooming sage, a season in which you offer the world not just your presence, but your essence—the unique life force that only your awakened heart can provide.
If you feel called to nurture this awakening with intention, Root & Wick Coaching offers a sacred container for your blossoming. Together, we'll tend to the roots of your wisdom and grow the tender green wick of your authentic expression. Reach out when ready to honor this moment with the attention it deserves. Your Blooming Sage awaits, and the world needs the power and wisdom you can bring.
Your Midlife Coach, Chrissy
Notes
This post was created with assistance from Anthropic. (2025). Claude.ai (3.7Sonnet) [hybrid reasoning model]. https://claude.ai The final content reflects the author's views, research, and editorial decisions
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